Friday, January 4, 2013

Why We Love Drywall More than Children

I think there is a link between the fact that the majority of people in our society don't know how to raise children anymore and their not wanting more children or not valuing children more than luxuries. God is a very slim part of the rearing process, even though the Bible says He is our entire source of being who should be brought up in our thoughts and deeds at all times. Discipline is seen as the equivalent of child abuse. Children are carted off to school or daycare so that mommy can either go to work or have her "me" time. 

In reality, I think we don't love and value children more than other things because we raise horrible children. Forget seven, who would want even one? We're raising a society of narcissists and sociopaths. In this regard, we have made children a curse when they were meant to be a blessing.

But it's a vicious cycle. We don't raise them correctly. They are in turn not people we desire to be around too often, and so, we don't value them as much as things we enjoy (vacations, houses, cars, tvs, manicures, shopping, etc.). 

Sure, no one wants to admit that he or she does not value his or her children more than the indulgence of other pursuits. Everyone has a "feeling" for their kids that they love them. The key is looking at your desires in order to tell you the truth. So here's a clue. If you constantly want to get away from your kid(s) because you "need a break from them," you're not raising them right. If you don't value children more than luxuries, you're not raising them right. I'm not constantly looking for a break from my kids, because they're people I want to be around. I value them more than things, and I can prove that I value them more than things by wanting more of them if God so desires it.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't desire to come away from them for purposes of worshiping God through other pursuits, but rather that you should not desire to get away from them or have less of them because you view them as an obstacle to your self-fulfillment through other pursuits. To give somewhat of an analogy, you should come away from your wife in order to devote yourself to prayer before God (as Paul argues in 1 Cor 7), and even improve yourself for your spouse by doing so, but not because you need a break from your spouse who is getting in the way of a life you want to indulge in for a time. If that's the case, your marriage may be in trouble. Your values are off. 

In the same way, if we raise children to be little monsters, they become a burden rather than a blessing, and we will begin to see other pursuits as more desirable than those that are spent with our kids. This will inevitably lead to us not wanting more kids, or kids at all, to begin with. After all, wherever your treasure is, there is your heart also.

No comments:

Post a Comment