Thursday, June 18, 2026

Mothers, Look to Your Households

When instructing his sons what to look for in a woman, after instructing them to be wise and righteous for thirty chapters in the Book of Proverbs, the author now turns to talk about what the kind of woman a wife and mother should be as she exemplifies the themes of a wise person seen throughout the book.

Who can find a wife of noble character?
For her value is far more than rubies.
11 Her husband’s heart has trusted her,
and he does not lack the dividends.
12 She has rewarded him with good and not harm
all the days of her life.
13 She sought out wool and flax,
then worked happily with her hands.
14 She was like the merchant ships;
she would bring in her food from afar.
15 Then she rose while it was still night,
and provided food for her household and a portion to her female servants.
16 She considered a field and bought it;
from her own income she planted a vineyard.
17 She clothed herself in might,
and she strengthened her arms.
18 She perceived that her merchandise was good.
Her lamp would not go out in the night.
19 She extended her hands to the spool,
and her hands grasped the spindle.
20 She opened her hand to the poor,
and extended her hands to the needy.
21 She would not fear for her household in winter,
because all her household were clothed with scarlet,
22 because she had made coverings for herself;
and because her clothing was fine linen and purple,
23 Her husband is well-known in the city gate
when he sits with the elders of the land.
24 She madelin en garments then sold them,
and traded belts to the merchants;
25 her clothing was strong and splendid;
and she laughed at the time to come.
26 She has opened her mouth with wisdom,
with loving instruction on her tongue.
27 Watching over the ways of her household,
she would not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children have risen and called her blessed;
her husband also has praised her:
29 “Many daughters have done valiantly,
but you have surpassed them all!”
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting.
A woman who fears the Lord—she makes herself praiseworthy.
31 Give her credit for what she has accomplished,
and let her works praise her in the city gates

Titus 2:3-5 likewise states:

Older women likewise are to exhibit behavior fitting for those who are holy, not slandering, not slaves to excessive drinking, but teaching what is good. In this way they will train the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, fulfilling their duties at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the message of God may not be discredited.

Notice in both of these texts, the former often dismissed because the modern woman has different aspirations she wants to obtain and strive for, that a woman cannot be a good mother without being a good wife. The two are tied together. Much of this is because the woman is the picture of the church in submission to her husband. She teaches the children, not only by teaching them wisdom, but also, and perhaps even primarily, by way of her service and submission to her husband how they are to submit to God. Hence, she instructs not primarily with her mouth but with her conduct, her wisdom in action. 

Much of that conduct is her looking to the household of her husband. She does this out of fear of the Lord, as mentioned before. She runs her household as the manager. She makes sure the household is fed and clothed, she invests for the household (not just herself), she makes her household a service to others who are in need, and she includes her children in her endeavors. 

In contrast, as we see in Titus, she is not someone sitting around slandering others, gossiping, getting drunk, or being flirtatious or promiscuous with other men, but rather, as is fitting for a saint, she works on loving/being devoted to/caring for her husband, her children, at home, looking to be kind, i.e, looking to the needs of others, and submitting to her husband (of course, her also refusing to obey when commanded to sin as talked about in a previous post is also instructive to her children). 

In other words, Titus 2 is the NT version of Proverbs 31:10-31, and both indicate that in order for a mother to be a good mother by fulfilling her obligations to her children she must be a good wife because the one is the activity of doing the other. They cannot be divorced from one another. No one who is a bad wife is a good mother. No one who is a good mother is a bad wife. Hence, the obligations of a wife to her children is to instruct them both by virtue of her mouth and by virtue of her hands, and the home, therefore, is the focus of her obligations to her children.

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