Wednesday, August 19, 2026

Fathers, Manage, But Do Not Micro-Manage Your Spiritual Children

 1 Peter 5:1-7 is continually abused and misused by egalitarian pastors who want to see elders as just one of the gang. Any exercise of authority is seen as abusive and then viewed as "lording it over" the people because, apparently, "lording it over" means "telling me what Scripture tells me to do when I don't want to do it and making me feel bad about not doing it."

The passage is actually about willingly shepherding without external motives that have nothing to do with loving God or his people, but are rather expressions of love of self. So the elders are told to not shepherd under compulsion but willingly. 

They are also told not to katakurieuontes. This is the word most abused. What does katakurieuontes mean? Well, if we do the etymological thing, which doesn't always yield the right answer, it's made up of two constituent words kata "down" and kurieuo "to exercise ownership over." The kata would indicate a negative type of doing this. Hence, to "lord over" would refer to exercising ownership over others in a bad way, specifically in a "down" way, i.e., an oppressive way. 

More information is given to us in the use of the word by Christ in Matthew 20:25-28. Despite all of the hullaballoo of Peter being behind the Markan account, Peter seems to refer to Matthew's Gospel in his first letter which makes this quote by Jesus in Matthew significant.

Christ says, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Here, we can see that Christ is contrasting the way the pagans exercise ownership over their people versus how Christ calls us to think of ministry. The contrast, however, is not between serving/sacrificing and exercising authority. In fact, the translation of the NIV here is unfortunate, since the word for authority here also has the kata preposition on it indicating that this is an oppresive authority, not just an exercise of authority which Jesus clearly gives to his apostles and elders of the church.

So we must ask, in what way do the pagans oppress their people and rule over them? They tax them beyond what they should for personal luxuries. They place all sorts of their personal preferences over them so that everyone has to conform and practice their personal preferences. They place laws over everything. They demand to be exalted in praise and in seating and in being served in gatherings. They view their people as existing for them rather than them as existing for their people.

So what does "lording it over" mean? It doesn't mean exercising authority and demanding that people do what God has told them to do, for that would be functioning as a herald and a servant of God and the people as many a prophet has done throughout history. It seems to mean using people for one's personal benefit and comfort. This expresses itself often in manipulating people and micro-managing their lives so that one's personal preferences are forced upon the people. 

This seems to correspond to the exhortation of the fathers in Ephesians to not "exasperate their children." Micro-managing people with one's own laws of preference and personal servitude can exhaust and frustrate them so that they just give up. Christ calls his shepherds to father his family in such a way so as to be examples of wisdom rather than constantly heap up laws upon people because we think doing things this way or that way are the best ways since its the way we do them. He also calls us to refrain from heaping financial burdens and burdens of favors upon people as though they exist to serve us. We are their servants as fathers are servants of the household in their authority and they need to use their authority for the good and well-being of the household.

I have seen so many pastors use people for their personal gain and have no regard for how it will harm the people, the children of God. Hence, as Paul instructed biological fathers so Peter instructs spiritual ones. Do not use your authority for your own selfish ends. 

It has nothing to do with harsh rebuke. It has nothing to do with exercising authority or discipline. It has nothing to do with telling people to do what God told them to do. It has to do with one thing and one thing only, using one's authority for selfish reasons instead of sacrificial reasons that would build up rather than tear down the children of God's household.

"He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him [doing so] with all propriety. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) (1 Tim 3:4-5)


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