Marriage and Divorce in the New Testament, Part XI: Divorce, Remarriage and the Unbeliever

It seems rather clear to the open mind that divorce and remarriage amongst believers is not permissible. A question that is often presented is whether it is permissible to divorce an unbeliever and remarry another. Since Jesus' teaching seems to concern the covenant community directly, Paul states that the Lord did not actually address this issue head on. Instead, Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7, will now address it.

In vv. 10-11, he first reaffirms the teaching of Christ by stating the following.

To the married I give this command – not I, but the Lord – a wife is not to divorce her husband (but if she does, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband), and a husband is not to divorce his wife.

Based on the principle of the one flesh union, Paul interprets Christ's teaching on earth as forbidding the divorce, and definitely the remarriage, of a believing wife and believing husband. He, then, applies the one flesh principle (i.e., that the couple are still one flesh even if divorced) to believers who are married to unbelievers.

To the rest I say – I, not the Lord – if a brother has a wife who is not a believer and she consents to live with him, he is not to divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he consents to live with her, she is not to divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified because of the wife, and the unbelieving wife because of her husband. Otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. But if the unbeliever wants a divorce, let it take place. In these circumstances the brother or sister is not obligated. God has called you in peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? 

Here, Paul gives the commands that a believer is never to be the one divorcing an unbeliever. The one who initiates the divorce must be the unbeliever. To divorce an unbeliever would be to disconnect him or her from a believing household, and even therefore, possibly disconnect the children from it as well.

As said before, many have made the mistake of confusing deō (vv. 27, 39) and douloō (v. 15), and have then interpreted the douloō "not obligated" statement to mean that the divorced believer is not deō "bound" by the one flesh union, and therefore, the divorced person does not need to the remain unmarried. The context, however, indicates that the word is referencing that the believer is not obligated to make the unbeliever stay. Hence, Paul argues that the believer can let the divorce take place if the unbeliever does not consent to live with him or her because God has called us to peace. This does not open the door for remarriage, as Paul has just said that if someone is divorced, they must remain unmarried, again, due to the fact that the divorced person is still one flesh with the person who divorced him or her.

Paul ends the pericope in Chapter 7 by reaffirming the principle upon which he bases his commands.

A wife is bound as long as her husband is living. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes (only someone in the Lord). (v. 39)

What this means is one of two things in dealing with an unbelieving spouse. 

First, it may be that the unbelieving spouse is treated like any other believer when he or she wrongs a believer. The unbeliever is tolerated. There is no basis for forgiveness, as they are not covered by the blood of Christ. Instead, since they are tolerated, there is no separation of relationship that needs to be restored anyway. As believers are told not to separate from unbelievers and judge them, but only believers who are in unrepentant sin, believers would not separate/divorce unbelievers to whom they are married. Forgiveness, then, does not really play a role in whether one keeps the marriage intact.

Second, it could mean, instead, based upon Paul's statements that the unbeliever is holy, that they are to be treated as a believer while in the household, that he or she, by virtue of being connected to the believing household, is considered a saint, i.e., holy one, and therefore, should be forgiven, as any professed believer in the covenant community, when repentant for a wrong. Hence, the marriage should be kept intact. 

Either way, whether due to tolerance or the kind of restoration given to another believer in the visible church, the believer is never to divorce the unbeliever, as Paul commands, and if a divorce takes place, the believer is to remain unmarried.

This means that one cannot use the excuse that a marriage is invalid because his or her spouse is an unbeliever, or that he or she was an unbeliever when the marriage took place. The one flesh union isn't based on faith in Christ, but in the creation of human beings, whether believer or unbeliever.